It's actually a short story that I've turned into a long tale. First I must declare my love for my husband. My feelings have not changed nor have I turned away from my husband. I love him more today than yesterday, but there are times, many lately, where I feel alone, abandoned. We see each other every day, but we don't share our lives with each other.
My husband recently got a job promotion. A position he has earned and very much deserves. It is been a long, rough journey for him. I've prayed many times for this blessing, so I want to make it clear that I am grateful and I am not wanting it to be taken from him. I just want to be able to live with my husband again. Now I pray for me, that I can survive, that I can be supportive. I continue to pray for him that he will remember me, just a little bit; that maybe he misses me, too.
Some might think I'm being selfish, but I don't see it that way. Its just hard to focus on the good when I only see him 2 hours a day. I know, that's a good.
Some days he's jumpy. Some days he's angry. Some days he's happy. Some days he's tired. Some days he's short tempered. Some days he's making dinner. Some days he helps clean. Some days he just dumps his things. Some days he doesn't speak. Some days I'm tired. Some days I'm sick. Some days I'm sad. Some days I try to make plans. Some days I can't even get out of the garage (snow days). Some days I cry. Most days I can't tell him how I feel. Most days I'm lonely. I miss my husband.
Until I can physically see the good I put my faith in God. I ask him to guide me, to look past my sadness. I pray for forgiveness and I pray for healing. I remind myself that this is only a temporary situation. But I still miss my husband.